Uncategorized

Each of us is greater and wiser than we appear to be

What would your life be like if you simply believed this? If you consider this even at your lowest, what will the result be? And how will you benefit from that?

This is one of the concepts I discuss with my coaching clients, and it is one they find challenging at first. The reason for this is that sometimes it is very difficult for people to stay ahead of their own thinking game because the human mind is so entrenched in finding arguments to support the opposite.

Many times, we confuse the outcomes of our actions with the value we possess as human beings. We are led to believe that our accomplishments reveal who we are. In reality, none of it is permanent. Neither the actions, nor the results. We therefore will only experience more confusion and disillusionment if we attach a sense of permanency to the outcome of our actions. For those of you who seek to explore life with curiosity and reverence, integrating in your belief system the notion that you are greater than you appear to be, creates the possibility for beautiful unfolding of undiscovered potential. It also leads the mind outside its own limitations into functioning ‘outside the box,’ allowing you to see who you really are. Truth be told, you are always more powerful and resourceful than you can ever imagine.

Now here is a challenge for you: I invite you to consider the possibility that you are greater and wiser than you believe you are (in this case, in that situation, today, and tomorrow). Whenever a challenge arises, greet it with this belief. Whenever opportunity knocks at your door, welcome it with this kind of confidence. Whenever someone challenges you and you feel compelled to react as you always do, consider for a moment that you are wiser than that, and choose to respond differently. Think, feel and behave as being more (LOVING, COMPASSIONATE, WISER, FORGIVING etc.) than you appear to be.

Keep an open mind and see what happens.

Let me know how this concept has served you.

How I heal anxiety and discomfort

This past weekend was a rough ride for me. I felt overwhelmed and anxious about not getting to the finish line with some of my plans. I am currently in training as a Heart Centered Facilitator, a program that has changed my life in so many profound ways.

 

Because I am so excited about sharing some of the most amazing tools, exercises, and practices with you, I tend to step out of the flow and get eager about crossing that finish line today. I push myself to go faster and to be better.

 

Then there are my amazing coaching clients, the transformative work we do together, and continuing to craft my art as a Life and Leadership Coach. And here I am, wanting to give more of myself and my skills and knowledge to the world, while nurturing myself.

 

Sometimes when we get caught up in wanting to achieve, to finish, to succeed, we lose that connection to our sane rhythms of being. Fortunately, tending to our hearts can lead us back into alignment with our soul.

 

To heal my anxiety, frustration, and fear of failing my vision, I brought them all into the heart space. I invited these feelings to come into my heart and I started conversations with them. I was looking to understand what they were indicating to me.

 

Along my discomfort and judgements, I also felt compassionate towards myself. „Of course you feel like this, you’ve been through a lot.” Then, while journaling, I asked my heart: „Heart, what do you feel right now?” „Heart, what do you see that I don’t see?” “Heart, what do you need now?”

 

It is vital to bring your Heart into the questions because it will take you out of your mind. This is a highly practical approach if you want to move in the direction of Light. Try this exercise and connect with your Heart.

 

You will be amazed at what the heart can teach you, and what bright revelations it can offer to you.

 

Let me know in the comments what you have discovered.

I’m sorry, I thought you were someone else

I made peace with blaming others, something I used to do for the most part of my life in an attempt to restore justice to a conflict. I did it to feed my ego and to basically feel better for being able to fight for myself. When you screwed me, I wanted you to own up to it and accept the consequences. Has it helped me feel better? Did it make me feel seen or heard? Not in the slightest. Essentially, I was just reiterating the behavior of others around me, under the false pretense of making things right.

Blaming + shaming someone for their actions takes time and energy. But what does that accomplish for you? It accomplishes nothing. The hurt is still there, waiting for you to realize what you avoided so much…that it wasn’t about what they did. It is about who you thought they were/were not.

How can someone harm you? They can only do so if you make their path easier, and you do so by creating expectations around them. In your mind, you create these images of them and assign them a role (best friend, excellent lover, best co-worker, etc.). Those roles reflect your deepest, unfulfilled needs. As soon as someone is given a role, you expect them to behave in a certain way. As the relationship progresses, you continue to infuse that image with more qualities that you expect them to manifest in the relationship. When disappointment hits, it is because, in reality they have stepped out of the role you gave them. They were never who you thought they were.

To satisfy our need for love and belonging, we choose to love what is easy to love, what is readily available. We ignore the rest. This means we don’t love the whole person and what is real about them. We only love half-heartedly. And for the most part, we love the image we have of them, and we love the role they play in our lives.

Yet LOVE has room for everything. It welcomes everything in. And if we are not quite ready yet, we can step back and take a closer look at who they really are, and at who we really are. We always have a choice. And the best choices are those that make us feel lighter, at peace within ourselves, and always promote more LOVE.

Mantra for Uncertainty: I’ll figure it out

Did you ever experience overwhelm when figuring things out for the future? It sounds silly to ask this question, since many of us live our lives trying to prepare for our future. Though we are not there yet, there are so many things that can happen, right? Many times, we feel we need to know in advance what we need to do once we reach the destination, the issue, the deadline, etc. We have to deliver, to meet our goals, to be prepared. Being organized and well prepared can help tremendously, but sometimes we don’t know how to get there. Not all the time, anyway. This is when the push for answers hits our anxiety/panic button. This triggers the ‘not good enough’ voice within, or simply the feeling of not being enough. Fear takes over. What will we do? If (insert your worst scenario), what will we do?

Remember how, as children, we would always ask our parents: Are we there yet? Well, I now ask you: Are you there yet? and Have you been there before?

In this instance you are not quite there yet, and you will figure it out when the time comes. How do I know? Consider the second question. Have you ever been in a difficult situation? Of course you have.

And…

You figured it out! Your life didn’t end there. How did you do it? Was there any help? Were you resourceful? Innovative? Confident? Were you willing to take a risk when it was needed?

The reason I’m asking is because I want you to remember that:

Each problem has its own solution. Each new challenge has its own set of directions. And…we always have a choice. There will always be uncertainty. It’s another way to be pushed out of our comfort zones and think creatively about life.

Next time you feel worried/anxious, instead of adding unnecessary stress to the situation, bring yourself to the present moment and put some faith and trust in it by saying this to yourself: „I’ll figure it out!”, „I’ll figure it out!”.

You’ll figure it out!

Live life on your terms, lovingly!