I know it sucks sometimes. There is a lot of pain, frustration, and plain sorrow involved. You have your reasons, of course. She said, he said, they did this instead of that. I know you feel you deserve better. You absolutely do. However, no matter how right you are or how wrong they are, keeping this kind of division alive will not do you any justice. This will not heal you, it will not make the other change his/her mind, and it certainly will not make the present better. It doesn’t matter how many people validate you and invalidate the other person. As long as you don’t take responsibility for your part in the game, you will continue to feel those feelings. Feelings are present to draw your attention. You too have contributed to this situation. It might appear that you did nothing to create this mess, but a better approach will be to ask yourself ‘What conditions have led to this mess/rapture/struggle/conflict?’. Look at what you did and what you didn’t do. Take responsibility for your contribution to the situation (actions and inactions) because no one is coming to do it for you. Further, if you find yourself thinking ‘He/She/They made me feel like…’, just pause and think for a moment. No one can make you think + feel anything without your permission. No one can control your mind or heart. So why are you giving them that power? You made yourself think and feel as you did by the meaning you gave to the situation and by creating a direct connection between this meaning and your worth. This is your lower self/ego’s attempt to better the situation for you, to help you cope with the pain you have inflicted upon yourself. Come back to the heart. Look at this experience through a loving lens and take loving responsibility for your part in the experience. Awaken the goodness (love) within you and let that be the starting point for healing.
Bottom line: A victim mindset invites more circumstances in your life to prove that what you believe and feel is true. Energy follows thought. What you think today shapes your tomorrow. Following this principle, you create your relationships based on the relationship you have with yourself.
All my love,